Sam Winchester Makes Me Cry

Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my feelings for Castiel that my concern for other characters is overshadowed. This is not that day. Today, I want to talk about Sam.

Sam Winchester, the boy who grew up believing he was a freak, feeling unclean. Sometimes, he seems to be the bearer of all these problems. First, the psychic abilities that eventually led up to the demon blood addiction and being Lucifer's true vessel. Then he was thrown in the deepest, worst part of hell, and resurfaced broken and missing a soul. He has died countless times, and yet we expect him to carry on after each.

Sam should be dead. I really don't want him to die, but he looks so exhausted. So many terrible things have happened to him, and now there is this business with Gadriel. Let's step away from the guilt dean feels about allowing that thing to possess his brother. Dean is going through a lot, but I really need to talk about Sam.

Sam killed Kevin. Well, we know it was Gadriel, but Sam will have to live with the fact that his face was the last Kevin saw. Like your typical Winchester, Sam harbors a huge load of guilt over everything. Once again, he must suffer through all these terrible awful things every season (and every season it somehow ties back and dumps more guilt on Dean).

 He is possessed by a terrible angel again, and he has to go through an awful process to have that undone: torture by Crowley. Which will not be a pleasant experience for Sam at all.

And worst of all is that Sam kind of wants to die, but Dean won't let him. Which is selfish of Dean, but we don't want Sam to die, either. I just really want all the characters to find happiness by the end of the series. They never have a moment of peace. It breaks my heart.

I just want and entire episode where Sam, Dean, and Cas act normal in the bunker and wear sweaters and drink hot cocoa and decorate a Christmas tree. (I think all the holiday fan art is getting to me).

I'm not saying all I want to, I just can't articulate right now. Thinking about Sam is stressful and exhausting. So I'm just gonna finish up here. Poor Sam Winchester. *cries while trying to remind self it's just a TV show*

On the bright side, Crowley is in the next episode, and so is some semblance of a trench coat on Cas! That will be lovely! And it seems that Team Free Will possibly has a chance at reuniting for sure? But I also highly doubt that because Sam will be angry with Dean on a whole new level (rightly so). But it will be a beautiful episode. I am sure of it.

The only bad part is that we have to wait until January 14th. But it will be great AS LONG AS NO MORE CHARACTER DIE, PLEASE. (I am seething over Kevin's death. It was unexpected.)