New Beginnings mean letting Endings End, I suppose

After months (and I mean a solid eight months) of procrastination, I finally went to Harper College to prepare for next year.

I'm a chronic worrier, I guess you could say. But when I am worried about something, my mind pushes it away, which often leads to a terrible case of procrastination. Putting things off really doesn't make me feel any better about them. In fact, it makes me feel much worse. As in sick-to-my-stomach-migraine-and-nightmares worse.

Still, I was surprised by how easy it was to finally just get it done. Going to my future school to get my plans sorted out made me feel so much better.

I spoke to my counselor and made a few decisions about what classes I want to register for (which I have to do soon, or else they'll all be filled up). I got my new school ID with a picture that for once I don't look so bad in. I familiarized myself with the school grounds. Overall, it was a productive visit.

Still, I couldn't help but tear up when I was leaving. Weird, okay, I know. But when I walked out of the building, I felt so much more confident. And sad. Yeah, I felt a little sad. I was always one of those kids that was a devout follower of the Peter-Pan ideology. Never grow up. And this is growing up. It was so beautiful outside. Perfect weather, glimmering lake, lush grass. And I was there alone. Somehow, I have this idea in my head that being an adult means being alone, and God I hope that isn't true. My parents always seemed so alone, and that always terrified me.

The only way to deal with that is to make sure you're not alone, so what did I do? I called up the one and only Kim and just talked. And I felt okay again.

I mean, I'm also very indecisive, which plays a huge roll in why I can't decide if I want to do this class or that one. Or join the honors program. What club should I even join to keep my scholarship? And the indecisiveness leads to more worrying. A terrible pile or worry.

But I really think I can handle it, now. I am growing up, and that's just a fact of life. And that's okay.